Sweet little Ace, today you are six weeks old. Six weeks! Already! What? Really, everyone warns you "The hours go by slowly but the years fly by," and it seems to already be true.
You and I are stuck in our own little love bubble that no one else is invited into. For the very first day, you made it clear to everyone how much you need me, and everyone else is a poor substitute. Well, for the record, I feel the same way about you.
I had this fear before you were born - and I still do - this thought, "But I'm not a mother. I don't know how to be a mother. Surely this baby will sense that, will seek someone more suitable to nurture him." But the crazy truth is that you seem to know better than me. Every step, you're showing me the way, reassuring me that I got this, that you trust me and believe in me. You've been a really patient teacher so far. Thanks for that, little buddy.
True, you've managed to turn our lives - my life - upside down. I've given up trying to respond to emails, texts, voicemails and other messages in any kind of timely manner. I've had slightly more than one shower for every week of your life. The house is overrun with take out containers, dirty clothes, and empty cardboard boxes that held groceries, diapers, and pet supplies that all have to be ordered online for ease's sake.
I'm eating like shit - when you give me a minute or two to stuff food into my mouth - and I'm deliriously tired most of the time. The "real life" of my life is in crazy shambles, but none of that penetrates our love bubble, Ace. It's you and me in here, and nothing touches us except each other.
In fact, the reason I've been tardy about updating this blog is that I've been busy staring into your sweet little face. In fact, the only reason I've had the time now is that you've been snoozing in your swing next to me for the past 45 minutes. But, now you're waking up, and I've got to go look at you some more.
More later. Until then, thanks for the wonderfully chaotic surreal beautiful last six weeks. Let's keep it up.
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